Sunday, November 19, 2017

21 Day Challenge


It is almost the end of the year and new year resolutions will be there again. Tada!!! To those who start resolutions but wasn't able to follow through for the remaining 330 days or so because it only lasts for a few weeks, I am with you. My fingers are all pointing back at me. I am guilty of listing resolutions that only last for a few days (Yikes).

But since I can't wait that long and I'm feeling motivated right now, I decided to start... tomorrow. That fast. Let me change things sooner than later.

I have built several bad habits growing up, the prominent one being my late sleeper or whatever you might call it. I am really not a morning person. But I hope to change it little by little and I know from experience that changing a lot of things all at once - like multi-tasking - won't really get you anywhere or at the very least, won't get you that far. What I really want to achieve here is a solid change and I would start with that first then the rest will follow.

I wrote this for the sake of accountability because knowing myself. I will just be as lazy as I am every morning. I will document my progress after twenty-one days and maybe I'll even document it thru a video. I'll think about that.

So, my only rule in this first challenge is to wake up at 7 am at the latest or earlier regardless of how late I hit the sack the night before. 

I really hope I can strike this one. I am crossing my fingers to this. Wish me luck.



Saturday, November 18, 2017

10 Random Things About Me


Hi! It's me again. I know it's a bit late for the introduction but I will go down to listing 10 random things about myself.  Things that maybe a lot of people don't know about me since I am not the most open person on the planet, to be honest. Without further ado, here are the 10 random things about me:

1. I love books/reading

Okay, so maybe this is a known part of me. I am a book enthusiast. I love books ever since I was little. In grade school, I read every short stories from our school books in advance, sometimes, even re-reading it just for the fun of it. I love the smell of them and to feel each pages underneath my hands (I know... it's a bit strange but yes, I do love to smell the books and touching it like a genie lamp).

I remember it wasn't until third year in high school when I got to read my first novel, courtesy of the influence of a good friend of mine. My first novel was Daddy Long Legs by Jean Webster. Since then, my love for reading blossomed.

I ventured on reading another genre like science fiction - my imagination growing wider and going further than possible. I couldn't imagine liking a science fiction before but when you begun the journey, it was quite addicting, really. It all started with the ever beautiful book of Stephenie Meyer - The Host. I always recommend this book to everyone because of its sheer beauty. I just really love the book, that is why.

For suspense/thriller, my first book was The Firm by John Grisham. I re-read it in a year, thrice. That good. And would want to relive it again soon.

For poetry, I should blame Lang Leav for it. Other poets that I so adore are Naveed Khan and Amanda Lovelace.


2.  I love collecting notebooks

I can't really pinpoint the reason behind my fascination but I really love collecting notebooks. Even though, I don't really use them. Most of the times, I just adore them like a painting in the wall. I know.. it's kind of weird.


3. Food: Anything cheesy and chocolate flavored & sundaes

These first two makes my mouth water. Anything with cheese is my favorite: cheeseburges, pasta with a lot of cheese, lasagna, mac and cheese, the list goes on. For any dessert, chocolate is the winner for me. I would choose it over any flavor. My taste bud seemed to be limited with only chocolate but I would love to try other flavors, it's just that I would choose it to be my best pick.

And sundaes. Okay, so I love soft serve ice cream. Period. I love it.


4. I would really love to travel

I know I am not an outgoing person for those people who know me. I would choose staying in over going out, most of the time. But, to be honest, I have a wanderlust in me just hiding. I just couldn't start it. But when an opportunity opens up, I would gladly grab it.

I hope to see myself around my country and in Japan!


5. I am a wannabe artist

I am not an artist but I do really love to be one. I have this great feeling whenever I saw an art unfold right in front of my eyes, like those time-lapsed videos of how a blank canvas turn into a majestic piece. I really want to paint or to draw something!


6. My type of clothing

I am not really a dressy kind of girl. I only wear skirts or dresses when needed or when the occasion requires, like in an office or when jeans/slacks are not appropriate. I usually go for a shirt and jeans. I'd go for sweatshirts, hoodies, or printed shirts. But I would love to try dressing up sometimes. Sometimes. Haha.


7. My fears

I have a lot of fears but I would only list 3 things that i fear the most: (1) heights, (2) cockroaches/insects and (3) rejection.


8. Frustrations

When I was a kid, my parents put me into a piano lesson but due to the known fact that I am not a morning person, I just drop out after two or three sessions. In retrospect, I deeply regret my decision and chastising myself greatly for not grabbing the wonderful opportunity of learning how to play. Now, at 22 I am so envious of people who do. I really do regret not going anymore. I'm still learning how to play by myself but it's different.

Another frustration of mine is singing and dancing. Okay, I do sing just not in front of people, mostly, anyway. I was told that I have a good voice - I'm not claiming that but I hope I really do have it. Well, my inhibitions always get in the way. On the other hand, dancing is not really my forte. I know, I admit it. I am not a dancer but I really do want to dance. Hmm.


9. I want to learn

This has been a compulsion to me. I want to learn everything: from sewing, cooking, baking, making a furniture or turning an old one to a new one, photography, several languages, coding, etc. The list goes on. These are the things I am interested in. I am that let-me-do-things-all-at-once type of person which usually ended up to the point of being overwhelmed. I am bit obsessed of learning things that I don't finish any of them. **sighs** I know...


10. I am a paradox

I can really be confusing. I'm happy but seem not to. I seem to not care but really I care too much. I seem to not be affected by things but really I was deeply wounded easily. I have a fragile disposition. A word, a snap, anything affects me. But, people wouldn't really know it.

I am that type of person to hide her thoughts and feelings under a hard mask of impassiveness in fear of being vulnerable.

* * *

Some words to ponder... 



Sunday, October 15, 2017

Sunday Currently Volume 2



It's been weeks since my last update and I even said I would try to post weekly (Huh!). To be honest, I was really trying to write for the past weeks. It's just that every time, I had this big wall of blankness. As in, nothing. I just stare at my blog willing myself to just start writing but nothing comes to mind or maybe nothing interesting to tell. But, today, I finally decided to just write my Sunday Currently and without further ado, here it is.


READING

Read

I have read two poetry books for the past week. They are The Princess Saves Herself On This One by Amanda Lovelace and The Universe of Us by Lang Leav.

A little teaser:

when 
someone
offers to 
save you
make it
your mission
to 
save yourself.
- I believe in you
(The Princess Saves Herself On This One)


"The sad thing is," she said, 
"the moment you start to miss someone, 
it means they're already gone."
(The Universe Of Us)


Nothing like poetry gives me the chills. It has a way of giving you emotions. A page with a few words, meant a whole lot. It can pierce you. Break you. Make you back up again. It can open your eyes and it teaches you things. 

And those two did give me a plethora of them and so much more. 


Currently Reading

“I have a feeling that when I'm Stormy's age, these everyday moments will be what I remember: Peter's head bent, biting into a chocolate chip cookie; the sun coming through the cafeteria window, bouncing off his brown hair; him looking at me.” 


So, I finally found the courage to start reading the last book of "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" Series. I have prolonged this moment because I wanted my last glimpse of Lara Jean and Peter's story to stay that way. This is the finale of the finale. And it breaks my heart knowing that.

I have nothing much to say yet since I am just at the beginning of the book. Jenny Han is such a great writer. She can give the most common occurrence in our lives so much color and life. How she can turn these little  moments into something big and wonderful. I love both Lara Jean and Peter and every characters in the book. That's why it would kill me if they wouldn't end up together!! So, please Jenny Han, give me a good ending!


WRITING

Writing this blog for this week. Will really list those writing challenges so I can start with my weekly post. It would be a great thing for me to focus my mind outside work. Diversion is totally needed.


WATCHING


Given that I have a wonderful two days off, I had extended my usual bed time and I watched Before We Go. So, I was also delaying my time with this movie since I wanted to have the perfect time to watch it. But, like so many things in life, I guess, you can't really tell when will that be so you just got to do it.

I was really going to bed early last night due to my intention of starting that morning run (again, with the weekly whatnots). But, when Chris Evans' face was flashed on the screen I became glued to my sit.

It is a bittersweet story of two people who  met at an inopportune time. On a closing train station. In the middle of the night.
There is this man, grieving from a lost love years ago, waiting and hoping that a chance of getting back together will come. And a woman who's hurting from a broken love, conflicted and shattered by the thought of a possibility of an ending. In a span of hours, they crossed paths and experienced love, knowing it would end at the break of dawn. At the parting time.

An unexpected story of love. I will watch this again!


LISTENING

Listening to several songs on Spotify. Too many to mention actually. But I am currently into What Lovers Do by Maroon 5 & SZA, Too Good In Goodbyes by Sam Smith, There For You by Troye Sivan & Martin Garrix, all Ed Sheeran's songs, Feels by Calvin Harris, Katy Perry etc. and so many more.


THINKING

It has been a bad habit of mine to not stop thinking. So, I do have, like, a lot on my mind at the moment. I really should start toning it down since it just bothers me and really just stresses the heck out of me and also to sort it so that I will be able to mean what I really want to say.

That aside, I was thinking of starting a business. A online clothing business. Nothing concrete yet just things floating in my head right now. Hope I will really be able to put it into fruition.


SMELLING

Cannot move on with our dinner today. I was cooking and the smell is so mouth-watering. It is nothing fancy really but it was one of my favorites. My tummy incessantly rumbled while I cook. Missed eating GG! If you're a Filipino, you would know what that is. Tummy was satisfied!


WISHING

I wish to start to live my life more.

Have the courage to just do it and leave out all the rest.

And I wish I could just stop worrying sometimes and to stop doubting myself so much.


WEARING

I am wearing house clothes. A mismatch pair of whatevers. Haha


FEELING

I was feeling... overwhelmed. Coz' tomorrow's the day of the week. Again.


CLICKING

Several tabs right now.


LOVING

How I started to have a progress with this! Will really challenge myself to start writing weekly.


NEEDING

A ME time. Just so I can finally feel like I am living my life. Got to finally start ticking one of my bucket list off.


That is all for my Sunday Currently Volume 2!! This is a weekly post from Siddathornton's blog. Click the link to see more. And...


A parting thought to myself:

“Never say no when you really want to say yes.”
- Always and Forever, Lara Jean


Saturday, September 16, 2017

What I have been up to lately



I know that it has been quite a while since the last time I posted. My hands are tightly tied these past few months with non-stop work all throughout the day, all throughout the week ad infinitum. Basically, my week just consist of that and I felt quite suffocated, to be honest. Too much of everything is toxic, really (note to self).

That being said, I would like to take a breather and break the monotony that is: my life, which why I decided to re-live my blog again (Yehey!). Again. (Yes, for so many times, already). Also, this will serve as my accountability post for the weekly writing that I am planning to do (Hah!)

But first let me give you an update so far as to what I have been up to lately.

Last August 25, we had our team building x values with the theme: Ramp It Up! LIT AF. It was a 2 days one night event which is one of the highlights of the year for the company and one of the most awaited as well.


The event was held at Canyon Cove Hotel And Spa in Batangas. The day started so well even though I only slept a wink, about two hours or so. The journey had been swift and smooth, if you consider my judgment while I slept open-mouthed, trying to keep my eyes open but my lids just won't.

I wasn't able to take much photos since I was so engrossed by the place. It's been so long since I've been in a beach or see such a scenery.


The day went by so quickly. After our morning calisthenics to loosen us up and to give us energy, we went straight to what they call "values" where issues, concerns and the core values of the company was discussed openly. We our grouped together to discuss concerns about work so that we can come up with solutions. It was such a great activity for us since for a newbie it is good to see the sides of each department.


After our open forum, we went to fill our stomach. The weather that day is a bit gloomy. It rained for most of the day. Good thing, though, is that we did most of our activity indoors. After our team building session at the hall, which happens so fast, we were by ourselves for the rest of evening (that is before dinner and the last event of the day). All we did was enjoy our room and the view. Ha! I would have add the pictures of our room but it wasn't in the computer so maybe some other time.



I wasn't able to get a good shot of our socials night so there's nothing for that, sorry. But it was one of the highly anticipated events of our team building 'cause this is where we really loosen ourselves up. Okay, so the stiff me, had quite loosen herself up. So yea. Hard to say I dance my heart out there cause maybe I'm the only one thinking that but I do know that all those few drinks I intake and was given to me was shot straight out of my system: few minutes after we're about to hit the sack. Right, talk about alcohol tolerance which I only have, like, a little. It's only a few different kinds of drinks. Whuttt. Gotta be tougher next time.


With all that stress and fun, we were on ourselves the next day which we solemnly consumed at the comfort of our beds. We woke up at around nine in the morning. We planned to go swimming at the beach to see the sunrise or to catch the morning waves, but, unfortunately, no sunrise and morning waves, just us having brunch and scrunching our remaining hours swimming at the sea (for like 20 minutes). This is when everyone's already preparing and packing their things up to go home.

Forgive the awkward pose, that pic doesn't quite happen often.

All in all, it was such a wonderful experience with a great bunch of people. Next time I will enjoy it to the fullest (and not sleep all morning -meh-)

So, this is it for my lately's.
Bbye.

Love, Nix

Monday, April 10, 2017

My Bucket List

This compilation is a combination of simple, silly and grand things that I want to have, learn and experience while some are fears I want to overcome. It is quite a bit random, forgive me for that. They are short-term and long-term goals that I wish to accomplished and acquired. Hopefully, I can complete every each of them. One at a time.
  1. Buy a roller skate and learn how to use one
  2. Ice Skating
  3. Mountain Climbing
  4. Bowling
  5. Buy an MP4/MP5
  6. Tour Philippines
  7. Visit Japan
  8. Camping
  9. Write a love letter to my parents
  10. Have my own place (I wish~)
  11. And a car of my own
  12. Cosplay
  13. Sing in front of many people
  14. Check-in at a hotel with my own money (Just for nothing)
  15. Have a full body massage at a spa
  16. Participate or have a photo shoot
  17. Ride a horse
  18. Learn how to ride a skateboard for at least 10 seconds
  19. Play shooting games with family/friends (Like on Counter Strike xD)
  20. Try surfing
  21. Write a poem
  22. Surprise someone with something out of the blue
  23. Dance in a studio even though I'm not a dancer
  24. Play a full song in my keyboard
  25. Buy my favorite books and books and books
  26. Have my own bookshelf/ves for my books
  27. Take that profile picture
  28. Record a song
  29. Make that song lyric video
  30. Buy my own piano
  31. Write a story and publish it (EPub or PDF format)
  32. Complete a 21-day challenge
  33. Have my own business
  34. Do freelancing
  35. Buy a bike
  36. Run a marathon and finished one
  37. Swim a full lap for 30 seconds
  38. Learn a new language
  39. Public speak
  40. Play long tennis
  41. Try archery
  42. And fishing
  43. Grow a flower
  44. Have a vegetable garden
  45. Paint something and frame it
  46. See a waterfall
  47. Shoot a short film
  48. Donate blood
  49. Have my own sewing machine
  50. Watch a sunset
  51. Sunrise
  52. See an Aurora Borealis
  53. Have my own laptop
  54. Have my own camera & polaroid

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Saturday Feels


Of all the days, I feel so sluggish and out of it today. Of all days, really. It has been such a long time since I was able to be home from work so early that I can still feel the heat still hitting my flesh and see my favorite shade of blue paste up in the sky so beautifully. For so long, the night welcomed me. It has been my company going home with music in my ears, hoping to soothe my mind.

The past six months have been a blur. I was only going through day by day, most of the time, wishing the day to finally end and the weekend to finally come. It has been my sentiments every week. I know I shouldn't feel this way. I know I shouldn't think this way. It's not going to help me at all. It's not going to make my life or work easy. 

I feel so frustrated. I felt like I have been passed back and forth like a tennis ball and I know that if I keep going on like this, I will stretch myself thin that I would break. And today, I feel like I am on the verge of breaking.

The thing is I have been working for six months and I felt like I'm getting nowhere. I'm not even moving forward. I am stuck. I can't help but to hate the fact that everything I'd done for the past six months meant nothing. Not to everyone I care about and to the people I served. Not even to myself. 

All I want now is to take a rest and hope that when I wake up I finally had a solution or more like to have the courage to finally do what I am supposed to do. Knock my head, please. I need a really hard one.






Monday, September 12, 2016

The Sunday Currently Volume 1



Hi there! I'm unofficially back again into writing. Unofficially - being the operative word there given that I am still not sure what to do with my blog. Too much on my mind right now. Too much inaction, I might add. So, for now, I would want to give it another go and just see where it will lead me. Anyway, here's my Sunday Currently Volume 1.

Reading
I am currently reading two books: 1 e-book and 1 paperback book. The reason behind the overlapping of books there is that I just can't stop myself from reading anywhere. I don't have an actual book with me all the time so for an uncontrollable bookworm itch that I couldn't scratch away, I have a lot of e-books with me. The first one is Wasted Words by Staci Heart and the latter is a book of Bram Stoker - Dracula. I should probably write about my current thoughts about these books on a separate post 'cause if not this will be longer than necessary. Yea, I really should. By the way, I just visit the site of Goodreads (I'm always using the app version) and I absolutely love its new layout!! Also, I want to share that I already completed my 20 Books in 2016 Reading Challenge, so I added another 5. Okay, I'll stop being annoying already...

Writing
Nothing interesting really. This is my first time in such a long time when it comes to writing. If you can consider writing random notes, goals and motivational words in the back pages of a notebook, then maybe I can write it down here. Probably elaborate those goals next time. When clarity finally meets me. And a with firm resolution to boot. Yes, I probably will.

Listening
To the current soundtrack on our house. It has been on a daily basis, those beautiful songs playing on continuously. The music of Christopher Cross, Bread, Kenny Rogers, Bee Gees and Air Supply. Also, the songs of Shania Twain and Michael Buble. And should I forget the latest songs on Youtube Mix, that is a lot to enumerate right now and the children songs on loop. I'll be able to sing their lyrics on the coming days. Not that I'm complaining. I love them!!

Thinking
Can we please not go here? In thinking? Seriously.. I'll be on it forever. This is actually why I started writing this post. 'Cause I want to release some off of my brain. It is currently congested really. So, I'll be unloading them one day at a time. The motto that I try to currently live by. One day at a time.

Smelling
Honestly, I can't smell anything right now because of my congested nasal passageways. I just love the word right. Maybe, I should start "one word a day", as well. To kick-start my love of word and writing.

Wishing
I have many on my bucket right now, but if it's only one wish then I am wishing for a fruitful year. I know.. too general... It's already Ber-months and my birth month too. I will be 21 in less than two weeks so I hope for things to go great if not superbly amazing. 

Wearing
My usual attire: comfy shirt and a leggings. It's currently 2 in the morning and yes, I am still sort of wide awake and writing.

Loving
The new addition to our family! It is his first month in this world and I just love this little but overly cute boy! Always want to carry him and couldn't stop staring. Loving to have my own someday. Someday!

Needing
A sleep! I will finish this as soon as I can so I could get a sleep. I know.. waking up early is not my thing. 

Feeling 
I felt light! Would really love to continue this. Unloading is almost done!

Clicking
Inspirational blogs and various sites. But, I would like to mention Siddathornton's blog. Join her link-up here (SUNDAY CURRENTLY).  By the way, I'd first seen the link-up through Maine Mendoza's blog. I was perusing her blog, reading how good of a writer she is. Lovely blog and blogger!


"Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life." - Mandy Hale

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Untitled

Your words are nothing but fraud
Befallen, I am deep in this bout
Wasted and dreamed, or so I thought
Behold, now I’m stuck in the mud

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Untitled

You said hello,
I just shrugged my shoulder
You called my name,
I just offered my mane
You told me you missed me,
I just cast a mere gaze
You bid your goodbye
While I keep everything at bay


The blissful and sad
The normal and mad
Wanting and loathing
Dreaming and ceasing


Everything is a mess
We are like a tangled mesh
All I wanted was you
And yet it wasn’t true

Sunday, November 16, 2014

The Girl Behind The Book

Like an unadorned blank book,
My life is filled with unknowns
My story is yet to be written
So stay awhile and take a look.

Papers scattered on the floor
Heaps of tales to uncover
I wish I am that damsel
That is rescued from the fall

Like the sobbing little girl
 In the tainted snowy white dress,
I am only a petty kid
That is also in distress

A memoir of their enthusing lives
Filled with acts of unforeseen twists
It might be utterly vexing
But I want a happy ending

Picturesque ladies among others
Striking gentlemen along the way
It’s not reality
And so I must wake